As babies, when we have healthy attachment with attuned, available, and nurturing caregivers, we lay the foundations for the optimal development of our brain and nervous system. The co-regulation offered by caregivers, e.g. rocking, soothing, making eye contact, responding to cries, teaches our nervous system how to return to calm after stress. Over time, this gives us the ability to self-regulate independently as we grow older.

But what happens if this foundation is disrupted? Or if trauma, loss, or overwhelming life experiences come into play later in life? To answer this, it’s helpful to understand the Window of Tolerance.

The term Window of Tolerance was coined by Dr. Dan Siegel to describe the range of emotional and physiological arousal we can experience while still being able to function and cope effectively.

When we are within our window, we can ride the ups and downs of life—hurt, anxiety, sadness, pain, anger—and still find our way back to balance. For example, you might feel stressed before a presentation, but after taking a few deep breaths, talking it through with a friend, or finishing the presentation itself, you return to calm.

We all fluctuate in arousal during the day—it’s normal to get excited, worried, tired, or discouraged—but if we have strategies and enough capacity in our nervous system, we can find our way back without becoming overwhelmed.

When we are pushed outside the window, though, things change:

• Hyperarousal (too much activation): fight/flight energy, anxiety, panic, anger, overwhelm, hypervigilance.

• Hypoarousal (too little energy): shutdown, numbness, depression, exhaustion, disconnection.

The below diagram (if included) usually shows how we move in and out of the window, with periods of activation followed by settling.

Trauma and Attachment Wounds

When we experience trauma or have unmet attachment needs, our nervous system’s natural capacity to self-regulate can be disrupted.

• Our senses may become heightened.

• Experiences and emotions feel more intense.

• Strategies that usually work (breathing, distraction, self-talk, connection) may no longer be accessible.

• Our window of tolerance shrinks, giving us less space to ebb and flow with life’s ups and downs.

This is why someone with unresolved trauma may feel overwhelmed by things that seem “small” to others, it’s not a matter of willpower or weakness, but of nervous system capacity.

Learning how to track and shift emotions becomes a powerful tool for widening this window again, so that regulation and integration are possible throughout the body, mind, and brain. Without this, people often get stuck in “On” (hyperarousal) or “Off” (hypoarousal).

Let me explain these states further:

• Calm Arousal is optimal. We move in and out of this range naturally all day long.

• Hyperarousal happens when fear, pain, anger, or trauma triggers overwhelm us. The nervous system gets stuck on “On”, racing thoughts, rapid heartbeat, hypervigilance, inability to rest or sleep, emotional flooding, even dissociative rage.

• Hypoarousal often comes after too much hyperarousal. When the overwhelm surpasses what the brain and body can tolerate, we shut down. The nervous system gets stuck on “Off”, numbness, exhaustion, flat affect, depression, disconnection, loss of appetite, sleeping excessively.

Interestingly, the nervous system doesn’t let us stay in one state forever. For example:

• After too much anxiety, the body may numb itself into shutdown.

• After too long in shutdown, people may gravitate toward risky or stimulating behaviors (drugs, thrill-seeking, conflict) just to feel alive again.

This seesaw can become a survival pattern when regulation hasn’t been learned or embodied.

Without healthy co-regulation in childhood, or when trauma is unresolved, people often turn to whatever strategies they can find to try to regulate:

• Someone with excessive fear or anxiety (hyperarousal) may use depressants (alcohol, sedatives) to quiet their system.

• Someone feeling flat or disconnected (hypoarousal) may seek stimulants (caffeine, sugar, drugs, risky behavior) to feel alive.

While understandable, these strategies don’t create lasting regulation. The true goal is to help the nervous system learn safer, healthier pathways back into balance.

Co-Regulation in Action: Broadening the Window

Parents, partners, and loved ones can play a key role by:

• Naming what they see: “It looks like you’re feeling overwhelmed. Do you want to take a break?”

• Offering presence and grounding: a calm voice, gentle touch, or simply sitting quietly with someone.

• Encouraging mindful noticing: “What do you feel in your body right now? What might help you feel better?”

Dr. Siegel calls this “name it to tame it”, naming emotions helps reduce their intensity, creating a sense of validation and being seen.

When children, teens, or adults practice noticing sensations, emotions, and needs, they begin to rewire their nervous system toward greater resilience.

Ultimately, healing means expanding the window of tolerance so that:

• People can experience a wider range of emotions without being thrown into dysregulation.

• The nervous system has more flexibility and resilience.

• Life feels more spacious, grounded, and livable.

By cultivating co-regulation, self-awareness, and trauma-informed tools, we can grow our capacity to move through emotional intensity and return to calm more readily.

I was listening to a really helpful interview with Peter Levine PhD, the founder of Somatic Experiencing (a neurobiological approach to healing trauma), and Dr. Maggie Kline, a Senior Somatic Experiencing Faculty Member, a Psychotherapist and Retired School Psychologist, that offers tools that caregivers and Somatic Experiencing Practitioners can use during these times, particularly with children. This excellent 45 min video interview can be accessed here.

In short, it shares that kids can often being frightened, confused or sad during these times because they don’t know what’s going on, especially when they pick up on the anxiety and fear of their parents. It’s important for adults to ground and balance so that our challenging emotions aren’t passed onto kids. It’s also good to let the kids know that they will be protected, kept safe, and can share their thoughts or fears with parents whenever they feel it. (Note that when adults experience external threat, they fight, flight or collapse in overwhelm; children can’t fight or flight and respond to threat by attaching to parents to create safety).

Peter Levine suggests various activities to help kids such as: making up stories together, singing, dancing, cooking, exercising and walking outside in nature whenever possible. Also practicing deep listening, and laughing together, which kid’s love and helps them to return to their natural creativity, confidence and resilience.

Here are a few Somatic Experiencing exercises from Peter Levine in an 8 min video that can help adults (and kids) to reset our nervous systems so that we feel less trapped and/or paralyzed by fear or panic at this time. Click here to access them.

There are some additional exercises in a 5 min video, also from Peter Levine, and especially for kids, that you can access here.

Keep well and finding ways to nourish yourself and thrive everyday!

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are potentially traumatic events that occur during childhood, such as abuse, neglect, or growing up in a chaotic home, that can have profound, long-lasting impacts on our health and well-being as adults.

While childhood trauma can often remain unspoken or forgotten, the body remembers. Unresolved trauma can keep the nervous system in a chronic state of stress, which fuels inflammation in the body. Over time, this low-grade but persistent inflammatory response can manifest as physical illness, mental health struggles, or even reduced life expectancy.

The ACE Study (Adverse Childhood Experiences Study), one of the largest public health studies ever conducted, shows us just how strong this mind-body connection really is.

Research continues to demonstrate the powerful link between stress and physical health. Consider these findings:

• Adults caring for a spouse with dementia show increased levels of cytokines, the proteins that drive inflammation.

• Experiencing the death of an adult sibling significantly raises one’s risk of heart attack.

• Pregnant women facing major stress have double the risk of miscarriage.

• A father experiencing financial strain is more likely to sustain serious physical injuries.

• The death of a child triples a parent’s risk of developing multiple sclerosis.

• Intense emotional fear or loss can trigger “broken heart syndrome,” a weakening of the heart muscle that mimics a heart attack.

When trauma occurs early in life—before we’ve developed coping mechanisms—its effects can be even more profound.

What Counts as an ACE?

If you experienced any of the following in childhood, you may have ACEs that are still shaping your health today:

• Experiencing violence, abuse, or neglect

• Witnessing domestic violence or community violence

• Having a family member attempt or die by suicide

• Growing up in a household with substance misuse or mental illness

• Experiencing instability from parental separation, incarceration, or chronic stress

These early adversities undermine a child’s sense of safety, stability, and bonding, leaving the nervous system stuck in survival mode.

The Health Impacts of ACEs in Adulthood

The ACE Study uncovered striking correlations between early trauma and adult health:

• Children with 7+ ACEs have a 360% higher chance of developing heart disease as adults.

• More than half of women with Irritable Bowel Syndrome report a history of childhood trauma.

• Adults with 4 ACEs are twice as likely to be diagnosed with cancer than those with none.

• For each ACE score, the risk of hospitalization for autoimmune disease rises 20%.

• An ACE score of 4 increases the likelihood of depression by 460%.

• Having 6 or more ACEs shortens life expectancy by almost 20 years.

These numbers highlight a sobering truth: our biography becomes our biology.

According to U.S. research:

• 64% of people grew up with at least one ACE.

• More than 1,500 studies worldwide have confirmed the connection between childhood trauma and long-term health.

• The World Health Organization now uses the ACE Questionnaire in 14 countries to help identify trauma-related health risks.

• In the United States, 29 states and Washington D.C. have adopted the ACE framework in public health initiatives.

This means the majority of us carry some form of unresolved stress or trauma from childhood—and many of us are living with its effects today.

Healing is Possible

The ACE Study is not the end of the story. While trauma imprints on the nervous system and body, healing and resilience are absolutely possible. Modalities such as Somatic Experiencing® help the body release stored trauma, regulate the nervous system, and reduce inflammation.

Here’s what one client shared about her journey:

“I am extremely grateful for the 8 Somatic Experiencing and energy therapy sessions I recently received with Jaya. I have seen a tremendous shift in my mind, body and spirit. Inflammation in my body, especially my colon, has reduced (when my Doctor recently tested my Rheumatoid Factor, it had lowered significantly). I have a sense of calm now and no longer feel that I am hypervigilant. This allows me to be able to attend and engage in social activities without anxiety. It has also helped me to be more present in each moment and feel more fully alive.

Jaya is an amazing, knowledgeable, gentle healer and has the expertise to support you wherever you are. I have learned so much about myself and appreciate each session that I have. I wish everyone to experience the wonderful transformations that I have experienced with Jaya. We are worth the investment.”
– Carol, Ottawa

We all deserve to live vibrant, thriving lives—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The ACE Study gives us powerful insight into why so many of us struggle with chronic illness or emotional overwhelm. But it also points to a solution: by addressing unresolved trauma, we can break the cycle of stress and reclaim our health.

You are not broken. You are carrying the imprint of what you’ve been through. And with the right support, you can heal.

If you feel called to begin your journey of somatic trauma integration, I would be honored to walk alongside you. Together, we can gently unwind survival patterns, calm your nervous system, and restore the resilience and vitality you were always meant to have.

In the fall of 2020, even though my health was quite good overall, a little voice inside whispered to me: “You need to take a couple of months off in the new year to fully recover your health on all levels.”

At first, I brushed it off. The thought of stepping away from my work for that long felt daunting. I’m a single parent, the sole provider for my son, and an entrepreneur with clients who count on me. Not to mention the social pressures, people often question, judge, or project their own fears when they see someone prioritizing rest and renewal. Still, the voice persisted. I knew in my bones that if I didn’t listen now, my body would eventually force me to.

So I chose to listen to my gut.

In January, I took time off and went to Austin and Mexico with my son and some friends. I gave myself permission to slow down, to receive healing sessions, and to spend weeks playing on the beach and sinking my hands into warm sand. Mornings often began with runs down the street under bright skies; afternoons were for swimming and surfing in the ocean; evenings for fresh food straight from the sea, vibrant juices, poetry, prayer, meditation, and listening deeply to Spirit.

By early March, when I returned to offering sessions, my health was almost completely back on track. Some issues I had carried for years, things I wasn’t even sure how to heal, resolved themselves simply because I had given my body, mind, and spirit what they needed: rest, nature, movement, nourishment, joy, and connection.

I share this because I know the temptation is to say: “That’s nice for her, but I could never do that because…” Believe me, I understand. I’m a full-time single mom, self-employed, with every reason to talk myself out of taking a leap like this. But I chose to do it anyway. Not because it was convenient, but because it was necessary.

My health and happiness are central to the life I want to live—and to the well I want to draw from as I support others. That’s true for all of us. When we tend to our deepest needs, we don’t just restore ourselves—we become more resourced, more alive, and more available to those we love.

So if there’s a wise voice inside you whispering something—maybe to rest, to slow down, to seek support, to move, to change—please know you can trust it. The truth is, we can do the things we’re called to, even when it feels impossible. It simply takes courage. Courage to listen, courage to act, and courage to believe that our well-being is worth it.

And I promise you: it is.

Why Somatic Experiencing® Is So Transformative

I just completed another six-day Somatic Experiencing® training as part of the final year of my professional program, and I left feeling completely renewed, not only with new tools to support others, but with deep healing in my own body.

This training focused on how to help people with complex trauma, the kind of trauma that doesn’t just show up as one symptom, but as a whole cluster of challenges in body, mind, and emotions.

Why Trauma Affects the Body

When something overwhelming happens and our body doesn’t get to fully process it, our nervous system can get “stuck” in survival mode. Instead of turning off once the threat has passed, the system keeps running in the background.

This is why trauma often shows up as physical symptoms like:

• Migraines

• Digestive troubles (IBS, stomach issues)

• Chronic fatigue

• Fibromyalgia and body pain

• Autoimmune issues

• Asthma or breathing difficulties

In Western medicine, these are sometimes called “syndromal patterns”—clusters of symptoms that don’t respond well to traditional treatments.

When the Nervous System Gets Pulled in Two Directions

Imagine driving with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake at the same time. That’s what it’s like when trauma lives in the body.

• The sympathetic system (gas pedal) revs us up into fight or flight.

• The dorsal vagal system (brake pedal) can push us into freeze or collapse.

When both are stuck “on,” our bodies become drained, tense, and unable to fully heal.

The Missing Piece: Safety and Connection

Thanks to the work of Dr. Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory), we now know there’s another branch of the nervous system: the ventral vagal system.

This part of us allows us to:

• Relax and rest deeply

• Feel safe in our own skin

• Connect with others with ease

Healing happens when our nervous system learns how to spend more time here—able to shift smoothly between activation and rest.

How Somatic Experiencing® Helps

Somatic Experiencing doesn’t push or force the body to change. Instead, it gives the nervous system space to complete unfinished survival responses and release the stuck energy of trauma.

Over time, this helps the body reset its natural rhythm, which can also support things like:

• Stronger immunity

• Less inflammation

• Better energy and vitality

• More resilience in daily life

In short: when your nervous system learns to regulate, your whole body has the chance to heal.

My Personal Shift

During this training, my own nervous system went through a profound reboot. Old pain and areas of numbness in my body fully released. My immune system felt stronger, and I could sense my energy flowing in ways it hadn’t for years.

I truly feel new again. And that’s the gift I want to share with others—because healing isn’t just possible, it’s something your body is always reaching for when given the right support.

An Invitation

If you’ve been living with symptoms that don’t resolve, or if you’ve been told “it’s all in your head,” please know: it’s not your fault, and you don’t have to stay stuck.

Your body holds incredible wisdom. With gentle support, your nervous system can learn to find balance again—and when it does, healing ripples out through every system in your body.

✨ Here’s to a new year, a new rhythm, and new possibilities for your health and well-being.

The turn of the year always carries a sense of possibility. We reflect on where we’ve been, what has shaped us, and what we’d like to step into next. Often we resolve to do something different—exercise more, eat better, meditate daily. But lasting change doesn’t come from willpower alone. It comes from something deeper: rewiring the brain itself.

This is where the concept of neuroplasticity—our brain’s ability to reorganize and form new connections—becomes a powerful ally.

For much of the 20th century, science believed the brain was static by adulthood—fixed, unchanging, slowly declining. But now we know the opposite is true:

• New neurons and connections can be formed at any age.

• Old pathways can weaken if we stop using them.

• New patterns of thought, behavior, and emotion can become our default with practice.

Every thought you repeat, every habit you practice, every emotional state you nurture—these are all strengthening certain neural pathways. The hopeful news is this: what you repeat, you become.

A new year offers a natural pause—a threshold moment. Our brains are especially receptive when we step outside of routine and allow ourselves to imagine something new. The symbolic “fresh start” primes your nervous system to open to possibility.

Instead of traditional resolutions that often fade by February, consider setting neural intentions—gentle, repeatable practices that literally rewire your circuitry.

How to Build New Neural Pathways

Here are some powerful ways to engage your brain’s natural plasticity in the months ahead:

1. Choose One Small Daily Practice

   • 5 minutes of breathwork, a gratitude journal, or a walk outside.

   • Small, consistent repetitions carve stronger pathways than big but unsustainable efforts.

2. Pair Intention with Emotion

   • The brain encodes change more powerfully when it’s emotionally charged.

   • For example, instead of vaguely saying “I’ll meditate,” anchor the practice to “I want to feel calmer and more open-hearted with my children.”

3. Engage All Three Brains

   • Head brain: conscious thought, problem-solving.

   • Heart brain: intuition, compassion, emotional wisdom.

   • Gut brain: instinct, grounding, and safety.
     When your intention resonates through all three, change becomes embodied rather than just conceptual.

4. Practice Rest and Safety

   • The nervous system learns best when it feels safe.

   • Prioritize good sleep, gentle movement, and moments of genuine rest. These allow your brain to integrate new patterns.

5. Celebrate Micro-Shifts

   • Each time you pause instead of react, soften instead of harden, or choose presence instead of autopilot—you are literally building new wiring.

   • These “micro-moments” add up, becoming your new baseline.

Research in neuroscience shows that the brain’s circuits are shaped by experience-dependent plasticity, meaning, what you do daily is what you reinforce. Even conditions like chronic pain, anxiety, or trauma-related stress involve neural circuits that have become over-practiced. With time and intentionality, those same circuits can be softened and replaced.

In other words, you are not stuck with the brain you have—you are continually shaping it.

A Gentle Invitation

As you step into this new year, notice the moments that invite a different choice. Each breath, each pause, each act of kindness toward yourself is not just a nice idea—it’s the laying of new circuitry. We can do this through the support of alternative mind/body therapies, and related neuroplastic meditations like the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. For an example of this work, please see my free “Rewire” meditation under “Resources” and then, “Books and Meditations” on my website!

Instead of striving for dramatic transformation overnight, trust in the slow but powerful work of repetition. You’re teaching your brain and body a new way of being. And over time, this becomes your natural rhythm.

✨ This year, may you gift yourself not just with resolutions, but with new neural pathways—ones that lead you home to greater peace, resilience, and joy.

The way we react, or respond, to the challenges of daily life is a reflection of how much space or tension we are carrying in our nervous system. If life constantly feels overwhelming or stressful, it may be because certain parts of the brain are still burdened by unintegrated feelings, memories, thought patterns, or energies from the past.

Over time, this unresolved stress doesn’t just stay “in the mind.” It shows up in the body. Physical tension, chronic pain, and even disease often develop when the nervous system is not given the chance to reset and heal.

As Canadian physician Dr. Gabor Maté reminds us:

“You cannot separate the mind from the body; whatever happens emotionally will have an impact on your physiology.”

Trauma and the Three Brains

Most of us have experienced some form of trauma—whether big or small. Trauma doesn’t always mean a single catastrophic event; it can also be the accumulation of smaller stresses and hurts over time. When this happens, the three brains—the head brain, the heart brain, and the gut brain—can become mobilized into survival modes such as:

• Fight or flight: feeling anxious, restless, irritable, hyper-alert.

• Freeze: feeling numb, shut down, disconnected, or fatigued.

These survival states are brilliant adaptations in the moment of trauma—but when the nervous system never fully discharges the energy, the body continues to live as if the danger is still present.

The Nervous System’s Need to Reset

When the nervous system is given safe space and support to process what it has been holding, it can integrate old memories, feelings, and patterns. This is not about erasing the past—it’s about allowing the body to release what is no longer needed so that healing can unfold.

Without this reset, the nervous system stays stuck in cycles of tension, which can contribute to stress-related illness, autoimmune issues, digestive challenges, pain syndromes, fatigue, and more.

How Somatic Experiencing Supports Healing

A powerful approach to restoring balance in the nervous system is Somatic Experiencing (SE), a body-based trauma healing method developed by Dr. Peter Levine.

Rather than focusing solely on the mind or on retelling traumatic events, SE works gently with the body’s natural rhythms to help it release the survival energy that was “stuck” at the time of trauma. Trauma isn’t in the event itself—it’s in the nervous system’s incomplete response to the event.

Through guided awareness of physical sensations, movements, and impulses, SE helps the nervous system:

• Discharge survival energy that has been trapped in fight, flight, or freeze.

• Build capacity to tolerate stress without becoming overwhelmed.

• Reconnect with safety in the present moment.

• Restore regulation so the body can shift naturally between activation and rest.

Rather than forcing a story or analysis, SE honors the body’s pace. This gentle, titrated approach allows healing to happen gradually, building resilience and a deeper sense of safety from the inside out.

When the nervous system is given the chance to complete what was once interrupted, the whole body can return to a state of balance, health, and vitality.

A Breath of Relief

Imagine the difference it makes when your body is no longer locked in fight, flight, or freeze. There is more space for calm. More resilience in the face of stress. More freedom to be present in your relationships, your work, and your life.

This is the profound relief we all long for—because when the nervous system heals, the whole self heals.

✨ Your nervous system holds the wisdom of survival, but it also carries the blueprint for your healing. Supporting it is one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself.

Science is increasingly showing what ancient wisdom has long suggested: the human body is not just a biochemical system — it’s also an energetic one. Every one of our trillions of cells emits measurable electromagnetic signals, creating a biofield around us that reflects our health and well-being.

Studies in biofield science suggest that when this cellular frequency is coherent and resilient, our bodies are better able to self-regulate, repair, and thrive. When it becomes dysregulated or depleted, we’re more vulnerable to illness. In fact, research in psychoneuroimmunology confirms that chronic stress, unresolved trauma, and negative emotional states can suppress immune function, increase inflammation, and disrupt the body’s natural rhythms of healing. (Dr. Gabor Mate)

So the question becomes: How can we elevate our frequency to support healing and vitality?

The Role of Beliefs and Cellular Health

Cellular biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton has shown through his work on epigenetics that our beliefs, perceptions, and environment can literally alter gene expression and cellular behavior. Instead of being hardwired, our biology is fluid and responsive.

Negative patterns — such as limiting beliefs, unresolved traumas, or chronic self-criticism — can act like “static” in our biofield. Lipton explains that these patterns rigidify the cell membranes, which are the gateways for nutrients and communication signals. A rigid membrane means less flow, less nourishment, and a slower cellular vibration. Over time, this stagnation contributes to physical symptoms and disease.

On the other hand, when we release and integrate these patterns, the membranes become more flexible and permeable, allowing higher-quality energy and nourishment to flow through. This translates into a more vibrant cellular frequency — one that supports resilience, vitality, and well-being.

Trauma, the Nervous System, and Vibrational Patterns

Neuroscience and somatic psychology show us that memories, emotions, and traumas are not just “mental” experiences — they are stored in the nervous system and tissues of the body. If they remain unresolved, they continually shape how our physiology functions, often keeping us stuck in cycles of stress, pain, or fatigue.

These unresolved patterns act as dense, lower-frequency imprints. That’s why you may have noticed that when you’re caught in worry, grief, or anger, your body feels heavy, drained, or even sick. In contrast, states of joy, compassion, and gratitude bring lightness, coherence, and measurable benefits for the immune and cardiovascular systems.

Nervous System Regulation and Frequency Shifts

This is where Somatic Experiencing (SE), a body-based approach to trauma resolution and nervous system regulation, can help. SE gently guides the body in completing survival responses (like fight, flight, or freeze) that may have been left unfinished during past overwhelming experiences.

By supporting the nervous system to discharge stored survival energy and find greater balance between activation and rest, SE helps:

• Reduce chronic tension and stress patterns.

• Restore natural rhythms of regulation in the autonomic nervous system.

• Free up energy that was previously “stuck” in protective responses.

• Enhance cellular communication and resilience.

When the nervous system is regulated, the body shifts from survival mode into repair, growth, and restoration. This coherence resonates all the way down to the cellular level, allowing frequency to rise into states that support healing, health and vitality.

The Takeaway

Your body is not static, it’s a dynamic, living system constantly in conversation with your beliefs, your environment, and your emotional state. By tending to unresolved patterns in the nervous system and cultivating practices that elevate our frequency, we support the body’s innate ability to heal.

Somatic Experiencing is not about erasing the past, it’s about helping the nervous system remember how to move fluidly between activation and rest, safety and vitality. In doing so, it supports a cellular frequency that promotes resilience, coherence, and thriving.

When your nervous system is regulated and your cells are vibrating with coherence, you don’t just survive: You THRIVE!